Going Nowhere Fast

I have been struggling for years with paying off debt my debt, and am now ready to embark on a journey to finally depart the land of financial servitude. Why now? At age 33, I am making decent money (but not great), am able to pay my bills, and still have enough to provide for my family, and buy all the things that I wanted. I've been doing the right things. Or have I?

Not really.

What I have been doing is using my credit cards to buy what I want, when I want, then justifying it saying, well, I deserve this, I work hard. The justification has been to my wife, but honestly, mostly it has been to myself. I believe a term to use my debt psychology would be entitled. I have felt that because of various reasons, I am entitled to buying these things. Here are a few things I've felt entitled to buy.

PC - "I want this new PC. I want to be able to play Left for Dead 2, my colleague at work told me about it, and if I'm not able to play along and share stories about killing zombies at work Monday, it just won't be the same." Turns out that playing first person shooter games for 8 hours at a time Friday and Saturday nights for 3 months in a row from 8 pm to 4 am is not so healthy for me, and the beginnings of carpal tunnel are showing through. Time for some other form of entertainment.

The Wii- " I want this new Wii, I have to be able to watch Netflix on my TV in the living room, because watching it at my computer in my bedroom is not good enough. Plus, the Wii is actually very healthy! In case you didn't know it, it encourages exercise, it'll get me exercising, plus, the kids will improve their hand eye coordination, and get some exercise as well. " Well, having a lightning storm cause an electrical surge, having my house blackout, etc., turns out to be not so good for electronics, especially when I have a second rate surge protector. "Honey, why do I smell burning plastic?" "No reason sweetheart, that's just my soul melting away in the form of a Wii"

The motorcycle - "I deserve this motorcycle, it is just used, my buddy at church is selling it to me for only $250, plus I have wanted a motorcycle since I was in high school and had a dirt bike. Plus, I'll drive it to work so you can have the car, we won't need a second car." Turns out that I don't like riding in the rain, and Portland, Oregon being the center of the rainy universe, don't get to ride much. "Oh, and I need to go buy a new designer Icon helmet to go along with that. I need it. Icon is a local company, and I can support the economy. It doesn't matter that it's $300 and actually cost more than the bike, it is an investment that I'll use for the next 10 years." An investment? Really? Well, this is probably the most justified thing on this list to buy, if I am on a bike I don't want brain damage if (and when) I eat concrete.

Does this sound familiar? I really think my own personality and psychology has created this feeling of "I deserve this", and that this feeling of personal entitlement to enjoy what I want, when I want, has seriously set my life back 10 years.

I remember when I was 18 or so in college talking to a friend of the family who worked as a real estate agent, saying that I would have my first million by age 30. Wow, really? So much for that. I'll settle for having my credit cards paid off.